This past weekend, I had the privilege of captaining the Buckinghamshire U12 girls at the County Cup. Watching these young athletes step onto the court reminded me just how much tennis demands of players, especially at such a young age. It’s easy to forget how challenging the sport can be when you’ve been in the game for years, but seeing it through the eyes of these girls reignited something for me.
Tennis is unique in its demand for accountability. Unlike team sports where mistakes might blend into the background, tennis leaves you exposed on that big, open court. Every missed shot, every wrong decision is on display for everyone to see. There’s no hiding behind a teammate or the bench. The pressure of being out there, completely alone in a competitive environment, is immense. And make no mistake, everyone wants to win—winning does matter.
However, one of the core lessons we focused on as a team was understanding that the outcome isn’t always within our control. Tennis is unpredictable; it’s shaped by countless variables—the conditions, the opponent, the pressure, the bounce of the ball. The only thing we can truly control is ourselves—our behaviors, decisions, and how we respond to the ups and downs that inevitably come during a match.
This weekend, our team embraced three key principles that I believe are essential not only for tennis but for life. These principles guided us on and off the court and created an atmosphere where the girls could perform their best, regardless of the outcome.
1. Be Brave
Being brave on the court doesn’t just mean swinging hard or charging the net; it’s about making decisions and standing by them. It’s easy to hesitate, especially under pressure, but tennis rewards those who take risks. Courage is about embracing the uncertainty, finding ways to win, and trusting in your instincts even when the stakes are high.
As we talked before the matches, I reminded the girls that they had to trust their decisions. Whether it was deciding to hit down the line or go crosscourt, the key was to not hold back. Hesitation is the enemy of success in tennis. The brave players are the ones who learn the most, who discover what works and what doesn’t by acting, not overthinking.
2. Commit
Once you’ve made a decision, it’s crucial to fully commit. Half-hearted attempts will never yield the result you’re hoping for. Whether it’s a serve, a groundstroke, or a volley, you’ve got to hit it with everything you’ve got.
We talked a lot about this during the weekend. Commitment means going all in—no second-guessing, no hesitation, no half-efforts. If you’ve decided to attack with your forehand, commit to that shot fully, believe in it, and execute it with everything you’ve got. Tennis, much like life, is a game of belief. If you don’t believe in what you’re doing, it’s already too late.
What I saw from these girls was inspiring. They stepped up and played with full commitment. Even in the face of adversity, they gave it everything they had. They believed in their choices, and that’s the first step toward greatness.
3. Embrace the Struggle
Tennis is hard. There’s no way around it. There will be uncomfortable moments, whether it’s struggling to find your rhythm, being down in a match, or facing a tougher opponent. But the key is not to shy away from these moments. We talked about staying calm, staying brave, and fully committing during those tough times. It’s easy to let doubt creep in, to get discouraged when things aren’t going your way. But that’s when growth happens.
The struggle doesn’t last forever, but it’s in those moments of discomfort that you truly grow as a player. I told the girls that embracing the struggle—leaning into the hard parts—was how they’d come out stronger on the other side. Tennis, like life, is full of battles, and it’s those who embrace the challenge that end up succeeding.
Behaviors Drive Performance
What struck me most this weekend wasn’t just the bravery or commitment these girls showed; it was how they approached both the highs and lows of competition with the same mindset. They didn’t let their emotions dictate their actions. Instead, they focused on the behaviors they could control—their focus, their effort, and their resilience.
These five young girls embodied the values we discussed: bravery, commitment, and the willingness to embrace the struggle. They reminded me, as a coach, that it’s not just about the wins and losses. It’s about how you respond to the challenges along the way.
I’m incredibly grateful to have worked with such a brave, committed, and inspirational group of players. Their resilience and determination were a testament to the power of focusing on the process, not just the outcome.
Final Thoughts
Tennis, like life, is unpredictable and challenging. But if you can be brave, fully commit to your decisions, and embrace the struggles that come your way, you’ll always come out stronger. Winning is important, but it’s the growth that happens along the way that truly defines a player.
These girls reminded me that true success comes from how you handle the journey, not just the destination.
